English: Everything starts from needs or desires that become goals. In order to achieve their goals people frame intentions that lead to actions. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The first week is ending in this new year. Did you review your past accomplishments and set your intentions for this year? Do you have a big dream and a vision of what you want? And do you feel as if you are off and running toward reaching your dream?
Or — are you like many of us. Maybe you reviewed your past year or maybe you chose to not even think about it because it was not as good as you would have liked. Maybe you haven’ quite decided on what you want to accomplish this year, if anything. And maybe you have set your goals and then got stopped in your tracks, worrying about how you can possibly do this and comparing your progress to what you see others doing.
It’s very easy for us to set a goal for the new year while we are celebrating life during the holidays. It is quite another thing to actually follow through and continue that level of excitement, enthusiasm and commitment as we encounter the inevitable trials, tribulations, roadblocks and difficulties.
Your relationship toward your goals and dreams is just as powerful as your relationship toward anything or anyone else. I have heard it said: “The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.” So if you are a great lover and you find the love of your life. All may be rosy for a few weeks, a few months or even a few years. But sooner or later the illusion ends – the “limerance,” the infatuation, the spurt of adrenalin, the rose colored glasses or the sense that this person or this project will make you happy. Sooner or later you are once again faced with a struggle and the opportunity to make a choice.
You have 2 choices when your enthusiasm wanes, your self-doubt creeps in and when you find yourself comparing unfavorably to those you admire.
First Choice Taken by Many: Give up the project, the goal, the dream or the relationship. Tell yourself it is just too hard and you don’t have what it takes to succeed. Find a way to invalidate the other person or question and undermine the value of your pursuit.
Second Choice Taken by Those Who Succeed: Continue your efforts to do whatever it takes. Be determined to figure out a solution to any problems that you face. Do research, find a teacher, coach, counselor or mentor, or continue to struggle with the problem until it is resolved to your satisfaction. Develop any missing skills or capacities through study, practice and, if needed, hard work.
As yourself now and please share your thoughts in the comments below.
- How confident am I that I will accomplish my intentions and goals for 2014?
- How much do I love, desire, need and appreciate the value of this project, person or dream?
- What skills, strengths, or resources have I been missing and how might I go about developing them?
- How can I keep on loving what I am doing when the goal seems far away and the difficulties appear huge?
Dr. Erica Goodstone
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Hi,
I need to understand the love relationship with wife and try to understand my wife she is very dominating but fun loving I also write blog on love affairs.
Hey Dr. Erica,
This was a very uplifting and motivating article and was refreshing to read a month into the new year. So far I have kept up on my goals by performing them daily. Rather than make huge goals this year i went the path of making several small daily goals. Such as making sure i drink enough water, 30 mins of exercise, meditation and prayer, etc. What has helped the most is my wife and i created a daily calendar that we check off when we complete and whoever completed the most at the end of each month rewards the other. She is in the lead by about 5 more goals completed then me but i still have time! 🙂
-Kyle
I love your idea of setting small goals and working together with your wife as a loving competition. The end result is a win-win.
I have a Facebook group, Our Healthy Living, which is a place to share your goals and your regular successes. I’ll send you an invite.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Great post. Thanks for the great reminders about dreaming! I say Dream BIG. Live BOLDLY. Get ‘er DONE:-)
Tandy,
I love your statement “Dream Big, Live Boldly, and Get’er Done.” So many of us dream small and live timidly and wonder why we don’t get things done. Even some of us who dream big, don’t know how to keep that energy moving toward completion.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Hi Erica. “Be the steady lover of your dreams.” I love that! I also love that I’ve been able to refine my dream over the last year. I think I’ll tack your quote up on my wall where I can see it. Thanks!
All the best,
Leslie
Leslie,
Isn’t it wonderful to actually love your dreams? And then to further clarify what your dreams are? I have also been clarifying and becoming clear about what I really and truly want, what I am willing and not willing to do, and where I see myself going? Feels good.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Hi Dr. Erica,
What a powerful statement is this – “The way you do one thing is the way you do everything”!
This is truly the single most important aspect of our actions and all our habits. This, in turn decides how we live our lives.
Thank you for such an incredible post. Especially going into 2014, it is an incredibly inspiring post. I enjoyed being here today. Sharing it now!
Regards,
Kumar
Kumar,
That is why it is so important to be aware of how we are doing something. If we take the time to do our due dilligence before jumping into a new project, a new opportunity, a new friendship, a new love relationship. And then what do we do once we get involved? How committed are we and how persistent when the going gets tough?
Thanks for stopping by.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Oh Erica you cited one of my favorite quotes, “the way you do anything is the way that you do everything”. It was sobering to hear that at first but then I added a qualifer for me. There are things that I do not especially care to do; however, I must. I now look at it now in regards to the things that I say are important to me. What I like about the expression is that it keeps me in check with myself as I strive to be extraordinary–especially in business. It forces me to pay a LOT of attention to what I am doing.
Rachel,
I agree that when you are doing something you love and care about you may do it with enthusiasm and consistency, but if you do not care about it or there is something about it you don’t like, you may procrastinate and avoid it. So that statement probably can use some qualification. In general, it does stand.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
That is such a revealing statement ” The way you do one thing is the way you do everything” this reflects your habits, how you manage your life too. I no longer believe in “time management”, it’s all about choice and what you choose to focus on. Intentions, a far better word than goals. If you follow and commit to your intentions there’s more of an emotional, personal investment in seeing them through …
Lesly,
I am so glad you said that. I don’t like “Time management” and “Goals” either. I guess when we have a very busy schedule imposed by a boss or someone else, we may have to manage our time. But it really is more about deciding what we want and realizing what it will take to acquire or achieve it. Then we can set our intentions toward getting what we have decided we want – doesn’t feel so much like time management as it does about moving toward our dreams.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Hi Dr. Erica,
thank you so much for sharing your wisdom about intentions.
I love the questions you are suggesting.
For me I revisited my intentions and adjustments I want to make and I am focusing on those which have the enjoyment factor and or find out what I would enjoy.
Love and Light!
Yorinda
Yorinda,
That is wonderful to have the enjoyment factor in your intentions and adjustments. I like your use of the word adjustments too. Words are so powerful. Instead of thinking we did something wrong or we failed, we need to think instead that we are slightly off course and can make a few small adjustments, the way planes and ships do continually.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Thank Erica ,
I set my intention and work toward it and
Trust 🙂
Erika,
You mention 2 important pieces – work and trust. And I would add one more piece – Focus. Trust alone does not lead to success. Work, in different directions and focused on the wrong things, can also lead to dead end. But combine all 3 aspects, and you just might easily attain your goals.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
You excellent use of the term “intentions” for 2014 reminded me that I learned years ago to set “targets” rather than goals. The benefit of targets is that getting close is a reason to celebrate, and if you haven’t hit the bullseye just yet you keep on shooting.
Mary,
I like your description of what happens with targets. It’s a place to aim toward but there is no sense of loss if you don’t quite make it because you can keep on going for it.
With my bi-weekly accountability partner, we set our intentions for the next 2 weeks (what we really want and expect to accomplish), our targets for the next 2 weeks that leave room to go after but not hold big expectations, and then our vision – for long term success.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Hi Dr. Erica,
What an inspiring post. I’ve never thought of a goal being compared to someone you love. I guess goals are just too easy to let go by the wayside.
I took to heart your expression of “Intentions for 2014” and keeping them alive and I’m focused on that. I have a tendency to think too much about things, so I’m doing my best to take action and not just think about it.
So far, it’s working very well. Thanks again.
Have a great evening. Monna
Monna,
It seems that if we treat our goals with the same attention, love, devotion and consistency with which we might treat someone we love, we certainly have a better chance to obtain our dreams.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Great blog, my first time here. It really has me thinking. I will have to review my thoughts with the questions you posed. I will have to come back here often. Thank you for such an inspiring site. Below a statement came up saying a feed could not be found at my site. I am not sure what that means?? I look forward to reading more . c ya!
Simuel,
Thanks for stopping by. It is really good to review your year and then set intentions for the new year and just do it. Feels so good to accomplish what you set your mind to doing.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica