16 thoughts on “Relationship Mastery Strategies”

1. Hi Dr. Erica,
   I want to be 80 years old and still on the learning path like Dr. Darbonne. Always be learning something new.
   What struck me was ” Our primary job is to know our self and be an expert on our partner and children. –
   Be happy and fulfilled as we discover our purpose and live in service to others.” These wise words resonated with me. Wonderful article.

   • Kathryn,
     The key is to first really know our own self – our needs, desires, strengths, flaws, insecurities, etc. And – when he says we need to become an expert on our partner and children, he does not mean to be judgemental and tell them how they should be, as if we know better than they do. It is to honor them, respect them, and learn everything we can about what brings out their passion and love and joy in living. Imagine 2 people always doing that for each other. I smile just thinking about it.
     Warmly,
     Dr. Erica

2. Thank you Dr Erica and Dr Darbonne. It make sense that unless we understand how our own trials and traumas molded us, and how they made us feel, we can’t begin to understand how our behavior effect others. Add awareness to that understanding and we can treat others the way we need to be treated ourselves.

   • Sue,
     Unfortunately, too many people do not want to look at themselves. It is really so much easier to just point a finger at another and blame the other person for not satisfying our needs. But those of us who do the inner work become so much more tolerant and understanding and communicative. We allow the other to bring forth the best in themselves.
     Warmly,
     Dr. Erica

3. In most things there are obstacles to overcome. However, it is also true that in most things the work needed is definitely worth it. We must stay the course of we want to live our true legacy.

   • Dr. Elise,
     You have certainly stayed the course with your training and degrees. Building a career or a business takes work and training, supervision and coaching, and tenacity. Somehow, many people think that a relationship should just happen naturally, that the other person should known what we want and need and freely supply us with that. Yet, it just doesn’t quite work like that. We have to delve into our own emotional and mental outlook and states of being and discover continually how to communicate with our partner and with others.
     Warmly,
     Dr. Erica

     • I am in full agreement. We also have to remember that if we are not getting what we want we need to ask for it. This simple thing can make all of the difference.

       • Yes, I used to make assumptions or just think in advance that I cannot get what I want so why ask. Now I have learned to ask. And often the other people says Yes.

4. I love the checklist, and in particular ‘pain exists but there is a solution’. I truly believe this. I really do believe we can overcome anything if we want to enough.

   Enjoy the journey!

   • Mandy,
     We have certainly learned how to overcome difficulties on the web. Anyone who has lasted online attempting to grow their presence and their business has definitely had to overcome difficulties. Relationships and emotional well being are no different. There are obstacles. There are things we don’t understand. And sometimes we can benefit from the wisdom of others.
     Warmly,
     Dr. Erica

5. I had to read over the points a few times to really let them sink in. Growing up my parents wouldn’t have had a clue what he was talking about and I can’t help but think they would have been closer to the norm. I think this is a marvelous ideal to aspire to and applaud you for the work you do to educate people about genuine love.

   • Marty,
     You are so right. This is a beautiful ideal to strive for. Instead of thinking about love as a way to get our needs met, we need to broaden the perspective to thinking of love as how we can deepen our understanding of our self and others and how we can expand the sense of oneness and elevate each other’s capacity for love.
     Warmly,
     Dr. Erica

6. Hello Dr Erica! I loved your post as well as your radio talk with Dr. Allen Darbonne. It was surprising to hear someone at 80 talk about how he is still on the learning path.. WOWSY! It was crazy to hear him say no one gets to be an adult without begin injured themselves.. Understanding yourself first.. Got It!!

   Awesome share..
   Thank You
   Chery :))

   • Chery,
     Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to listen to the radio interview. That man, and so many others that I have been interviewing, continue to live inspiring lives. They help us to redefine aging into this positive state when we use all that we have learned to create our legacy.

     Warmly,

     Dr. Erica

7. Great article, I loved it.

   • Thank you.

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