- Do you believe it is possible to heal your body through love?
- Can you heal your relationships through love?
- Can you heal your finances, your addictions and anything else through love?
- Have you ever had the experience of healing through love?
However, love the way most of us define it, describe it and live it, is not really love but can be labeled as something else. For example, we can easily feel that we “love” a gorgeous young woman or a strikingly handsome young man. But has that “love” stood the test of time? What if that man or woman is in a serious accident and has severe facial scarring, loss of a limb or a chronic life limiting illness? What if that man or woman is very demanding or needy and clinging or unable to provide financial stability or support? What if that man or woman has an affair or betrays your trust?
What then is love? Many years ago, a research study at the University College in London found that when one is in the throes of “feeling in love” the areas of the brain that control critical thought, e.g., the prefrontal cortex, may be suppressed. But are they really talking about “Love” or are they merely studying infatuation, limerence, lust or those early high hormonal days of desire for the object of one’s fascination?
- What does love mean to you?
- How do you think, feel and behave when you think you “love” someone?
- How do you respond when you think someone else “loves” you?
When you are in a relationship, any relationship, there is a certain way you are thinking, feeling, believing and behaving. The other person is both responding to you and also providing their own ways of thinking, feeling, believing and behaving. This often leads to miscommunication, unexpressed upsets, subliminal attitudes and demands, and outright manipulation, control, disagreements and even fighting.
Our brain is bombarded with 1 billion bits of information every second. We have an amazing filtering system so that different parts of the brain filter out a large portion of the stimuli, allowing us to feel and experience a small fraction of the actual sensual input. Add to that the people with whom we interact, the features of our environment, the media messages on TV, cell phones, radio, internet, movies, magazines, books, our internal body sensations, our emotional ups and downs, etc., etc.
We are not static, monotone individuals. We actually consist of energy, waves, chemical particles, electromagnetic pathways, and we are covered inside and outside with living organisms such as bacteria, fungi, and viruses. And, we are not just these physical beings. We are spiritual beings with a spirit and soul that cannot be seen or captured or fully understood. And our brains and hormones have multi-functions, sometimes working together and sometimes at odds with each other.
What Is Love?
Love, according to the gurus, the daily meditators, the healers, and those who have studied the intricacies of love, is very different from the general conception of what love is.
Love is a feeling, an inner sensation, an intense desire, a state of excitement- Love is an attitude, a way of thinking, a way of understanding other people’s world
- Love is a behavior, a way of acting, a way of doing for others what benefits them
- Love is a way of being, a way of approaching the world and everyone in it
To remain in a state of love, regardless of outward circumstances or the attitudes and behaviors of others, requires a very strong inner constitution. Love necessitates powerful self-respect, high self-esteem, putting oneself first above all else, and yet being able to give freely without fear of loss, hurt, rejection or abandonment. To truly be able to comprehend love we need to develop a higher understanding of the way the world works.
LOVE IS NOT
Self-absorbed and self-centered
Coercive and manipulative
Critical and judgemental
Forcing and resisting
Undependable and inconsistent
Jealous and demanding
Insecure and desperate
Fragile and easily destroyed
LOVE IS
Accepting and forgiving
Yielding and being vulnerable
Respectful and validating
Communicating and sharing
Steady and unwavering
Patient, kind and gentle
Seeing the love within
Appreciating the gift of life
Love heals when your love is based on deep and significant values beyond the petty discords and differences between us.
- Do you know how to love?
- Take each of the words above, study their different meanings, and then evaluate your own way of loving.
- How close do you come to being able to love freely, openly and unconditionally?
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With love and caring,
Love Mentor and Relationship Healer
Where There Is Love There IS A Way
Dr. Erica Goodstone
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Hi Erica,
What a great topic! I believe love is an energy and yes, it can heal. But it takes time and takes two in order to make it happen. It can be between two or more people as well as our furry friends. This is why there are healing dogs for people with special needs.
When it comes to relationships each person has to be open to it. The recipient needs to be able to accept the love given by his or her partner. Then the healing begins.
-Donna
Beautiful post. I definitely believe love can heal.
Annette,
I know love can heal but it doesn’t always happen quickly. In our quick fix and throw it away society, many people do not allow themselves the time and effort to allow the power of love to work its magic.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
In a word, love is commitment–the for better or for worse of the marriage vows. The cleaning up of puke that mothers do for their children. The giving of ourselves to someone in need–someone close or not so close.
Nancy,
Somehow we used to know that and most of us believed that love is commitment but lately, many people have forgotten. They look at everything as expendable, throw away if it gets worn out. Sadly, too many people give up on relationships without doing the self-reflection and couples counseling that could bring back the reason they connected in the first place.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica